So I'm starting this blog. Not sure exactly what it is or how it will work yet, but it will work itself out. I'll generally be posting random thoughts on depression and related stuff. I'll do it as regularly as I can manage.
I started reading a book last night called Notes on Suicide by Simon Critchley. I haven't got very far, but so far it's awesome. We don't like talking about death and suidcide in general, but I seem to like stuff like that. I think I'm kinda dark in some ways. But there's no light without darkness. If you're not prepared to venture into the darkness, life will be pretty boring. I found a review of the book on the independent.co.uk with the heading "Why society must confront the stigma around suicide." If there's one way to make me not do something it's to tell me I "must" do it. Also, is there actually a "stigma" around suicide? There seems to be a stigma around everything according to some people. Lots of people talk about the stigma around depression. I didn't experience any stigma. A big part of me didn't want anyone to know I was depressed. But almost everyone I opened up to about it was understanding and wanted to help, even if they didn't know how. And the ones who weren't, well that tells you something. When shit gets dark, you find out who and what is really important to you. So I didn't experience a stigma. But that doesn't mean that people massively want to be around it. Or talk about it. Or even believe in it. But on the whole, it seems to me, that a lot of the stigma around depression, or suicide, or whatever, is inside the heads of the people who think there's a stigma. Of course lots of people don't like talking about suicide, but that's not because of the disgrace associated with it. It's because it's fucking dark, edgy and unbelievably complicated. People don't like talking about complicated things. Humans like simple solutions. In some senses suicide is the simplest solution to a complex problem. But the concept of suicide, the morality of it, the reasons for it, that's all ridiculously complicated. It's at the edge of the edge of darkness. I'm looking forward to the rest of the book.